They often say that curiosity killed the cat. In my life as a transgender person, I've found that curiosity has done nothing more than spark conversation. This is exactly what I want. No different from the countless women who have come and gone before me, I don't dress and go through the efforts that I do to look pretty only to be ignored! I know this sounds entirely selfish and superficial (because it is!) but it's part of life and part of my persona as a woman. I want to be noticed. This journey has been that effort.
In this regard, if being noticed 'scores' me conversation with people, than so be it! That's part of my Master Plan. To look others in the eye. To be noticed. To be acknowledged and share who I am with them. Among many things, I am someone who is learning to become a woman. Great conversation starter for sure! I don't want or need to run from my feminine feelings. I want to be open and share them with others. And at the end of the day, I just want to join in life's daily foibles and experiences. I don't really understand it, but I've had to parade in life as a woman in order for people to talk to me! LOL. Wow!For another time, but I'll say it now...I don't dress trashy. Most, if not all of you know that about me. That's not what I am about and I certainly do not want that kind of negative attention. No Ma'am. I admire and therefore emulate what I think to be classy and elegant about womanhood.
There's no doubt that some people initiate conversation with me and they're not genuinely interested in who I am as a person. They might even be mocking me. That's ok. I get it. Most people aren't interested in me. I accept the novelty and curiosity that a man living and presenting as a woman brings and I accept it fully. Thus far though, the conversations of I had seem to me to be complimentary and supportive. That just vindicates who I am becoming as a person 10 times over!
Whether it be exchanges about fashion or just the mundane aspects of life, I am entirely appreciative of the men and women who have taken the time to acknowledge me. In my new role, I've learned to perceive when someone looks like they want to break the proverbial ice. Gestures and mannerisms are very telling. In keeping, I make sure my body language lets them know I am friendly and open to conversations. Whether it be about sling-back heels, hair, nails, dresses or Mesoscale Convective Complex initiated Derechos, I'm all game...as long as I get to twirl my hair and dangle my heels!The point to all this is that I've chosen to embrace who I am. In a sense, the fact that I want to live as a woman and am doing so is my 'worst' trait...everything else about me is just water under the bridge so to speak. This journey of mine is about finding and embracing myself, in doing so, I've found it easier to embrace (not literally) others!
